i would punch a child for taco bell
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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