I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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