He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
