I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
kristin has been a bad kristin
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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