I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I still have a little drunk in my system
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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