ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She even gives head with a lisp.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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