ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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