I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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