allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
