I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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