Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
