Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
