life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
