Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
