you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't deserve a penis
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
