why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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