Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
