Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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