YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
