Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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