ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
