He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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