i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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