here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
