dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
