So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
