You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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