Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
