Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
