i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
