Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
