i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
