party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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