he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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