Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
