that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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