there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
