laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
