Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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