i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
