Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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