Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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