I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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