i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
