I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
