guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
