someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
