It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
