i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
