OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
